[Intro] Hey Mommy, what's a purple-om-uh-meter? Well Susie.... So Kid A made the Purple-om-uh-terr. And now we know what's not red. Oh we love the Purple-om-uh-terr. All hail empirical data! [Verse 1] Long ago, before clocks and charts, Before volts or watts or standard parts, There lived Kid A who knew red and blue, Only two colors, a simple worldview! One fine day found he a stone, A color hither-to unknown: “Red!” he said. “No—blue!” he knew, But somehow both felt partly true. [Chorus] Red and blue--blue and red, “What’s in-between?” broke his head. If it’s not this and not that, What kinda color am I looking at? Round and round the questions flew, "Purple" he'd find--neither red nor blue! [Verse 2] He showed the rock to Mom and Dad, They looked confused, then got mad. “It’s red!" said Mom. “It’s blue,” said Dad. They fought it out; the kid felt bad. Then Grandpa said, “You're kinda both right. There’s more than day, and more than night. Between the red and blue you see, There lives a color—purple-y.” (stoner Grandpa) [Chorus] Red and blue--blue and red, “What’s in-between?” broke his head. If it’s not this and not that, What kinda color am I looking at? Round and round the questions flew, "Purple" it is--neither red nor blue! [Verse 3] He gathered more stones, not just one, For data he wanted, and better a ton. Opinions! A survey methodology. “Red or blue?” he'd ask each cordially. And so it turned out to his surprise, Tallying marks on papa-rise, “Most folks say it’s in between— So purple is real, not unseen!” (sampling bias) [Chorus] Red and blue--blue and red, “What’s in-between?” filled his head. If it’s not this and not that, What kinda color are we looking at? Up and up the tabulations grew, "Purple" they were--neither red nor blue! [solo] [Verse 4] Polling the town was getting him down, All those people and all those clowns. Objective measurement would be really nice, A metric we need, no more rolling the dice. Every ship needs a rudder, So Kid A made a Purple-om-uh-terr. (calibration needed) [Chorus] Red and blue--blue and red, “What’s in-between?” now it said. If it’s not this and not that, What kinda color are you looking at? Stones on a stick one to ten, whew! "Purple" they were--neither red nor blue! [Outro] So Kid A made the Purple-om-uh-terr. And now we know what's not red. Oh we love the Purple-om-uh-terr. All hail empirical data! So Kid A made the Purple-om-uh-terr. And now we know what's not red. Oh we love the Purple-om-uh-terr. All hail empirical data!
