Evil Overlord Inc.

A darkly humorous spoken-word narrative in E minor, 4/4 time, 75 BPM, The tone is reflective and surreal, blending dry wit with eerie digital ambience, Background soundscape: soft electronic drones, glitch textures, and reverb to create a sense of transcendental system failure, Voice should sound calm, human, slightly ironic — like a burnt-out coder narrating his own metaphysical tech support ticket

A surreal dark-comedy spoken-word narration in D minor, 4/4 time, 80 BPM, Tone: dry, bewildered, and cinematic, like a reluctant fantasy protagonist stuck in an HR orientation, Background: bubbling cauldron, faint cave echo, soft synth drones, and occasional fire crackle, Natural human pacing — calm, expressive, slightly sarcastic

A darkly humorous spoken-word narrative in E minor, 4/4 time, 75 BPM, The tone is reflective and surreal, blending dry wit with eerie digital ambience, Background soundscape: soft electronic drones, glitch textures, and reverb to create a sense of transcendental system failure, Voice should sound calm, human, slightly ironic — like a burnt-out coder narrating his own metaphysical tech support ticket

A dry, sardonic spoken-word performance in F minor, 82 BPM, The tone should feel like a gothic epic being slowly hijacked by an overexcited intern, Delivery: deadpan, deliberate, unhurried — every absurdity presented as if it were perfectly normal procedure, ‑singing, ‑rhythmic phrasing, ‑percussion, ‑dramatic swells, ‑heroic or romantic scoring, ‑Melsima

A dry, sardonic spoken-word performance in F minor, 82 BPM, The tone should feel like a gothic epic being slowly hijacked by an overexcited intern, Delivery: deadpan, deliberate, unhurried — every absurdity presented as if it were perfectly normal procedure, ‑singing, ‑rhythmic phrasing, ‑percussion, ‑dramatic swells, ‑heroic or romantic scoring, ‑Melsima

A dry, sardonic spoken-word performance in F minor, 82 BPM, The tone should feel like a gothic epic being slowly hijacked by an overexcited intern, Delivery: deadpan, deliberate, unhurried — every absurdity presented as if it were perfectly normal procedure, ‑singing, ‑rhythmic phrasing, ‑percussion, ‑dramatic swells, ‑heroic or romantic scoring, ‑Melsima

A luxurious, deadpan spoken-word narration in E minor, 76 BPM, Tone: regal, composed, faintly ridiculous — as if this were an epic chronicle about an actual monarch, except the monarch is a cat, The humor comes from sincerity taken too far, Delivery should sound like a narrator describing world-shaping events with the gravity of a nature documentary, ‑singing, ‑rhythmic phrasing, ‑percussion, ‑dramatic swells, ‑heroic or romantic scoring, ‑Melsima

A luxurious, deadpan spoken-word narration in E minor, 76 BPM, Tone: regal, composed, faintly ridiculous — as if this were an epic chronicle about an actual monarch, except the monarch is a cat, The humor comes from sincerity taken too far, Delivery should sound like a narrator describing world-shaping events with the gravity of a nature documentary, ‑singing, ‑rhythmic phrasing, ‑percussion, ‑dramatic swells, ‑heroic or romantic scoring, ‑Melsima

A dry, sardonic spoken-word performance in F minor, 82 BPM, The tone should feel like a gothic epic being slowly hijacked by an overexcited intern, Delivery: deadpan, deliberate, unhurried — every absurdity presented as if it were perfectly normal procedure, ‑singing, ‑rhythmic phrasing, ‑percussion, ‑dramatic swells, ‑heroic or romantic scoring, ‑Melsima

A spoken-word narration in, Tone: dry, dignified, and quietly ridiculous — like a nature documentary about evil HR policy, The voice should carry the weary authority of someone who has been managing chaos for centuries and refuses to be impressed by it, ‑singing, ‑rhythmic phrasing, ‑percussion, ‑dramatic swells, ‑heroic or romantic scoring, ‑Melsima

A surreal dark-comedy spoken-word narration in D minor, Tone: dry, bewildered, and cinematic, like a reluctant fantasy protagonist stuck in an HR orientation, ‑Dramatic Swells, ‑Orchestra Hits, ‑Sudden volume change

A spoken-word narration in, Tone: dry, dignified, and quietly ridiculous, ‑singing, ‑rhythmic phrasing, ‑percussion, ‑dramatic swells, ‑heroic or romantic scoring, ‑Melsima