Dear Mrs Apron

Dear Mrs Apron, [verse] We regret to inform you that your recent purchase of our Extra Sharp Knives has resulted in an unprecedented beef shortage in your local area. Our records indicate that you have sliced through approximately 73% of the county's cattle population. [break] [alt-verse] While we applaud your enthusiasm for our product, (for our product) we kindly request that you consider switching to a duller blade (dollar blade) or perhaps take up a less destructive hobby, such as extreme origami. (paper) [break] [bridge] Yours concernedly, Bartholomew Blunt Customer Relations, Slice & Dice Cutlery Co.