Ceremonies of the Damned (Dark Agile)

[Verse 1] In the pale light of my monitor's glow I drown in backlogs that endlessly grow Two years of planning, our souls to condemn While actual progress is lost among them Checklists and rituals we blindly obey (But does anyone remember why we're here today?) [Chorus] Dark agile! The death of innovation Dark agile! A corporate incantation We stand in ceremonies of the damned While our dreams die in Jira, ticket by ticket SCREAMING FOR RELEASE! SCREAMING FOR RELEASE! [Verse 2] The Scrummaster wears a manager's crown The Product Owner is nowhere to be found Three different teams must approve every change As our passion for coding slowly estranged More documentation than working software (Is this agile or just organized despair?) [Chorus] Dark agile! The death of innovation Dark agile! A corporate incantation We stand in ceremonies of the damned While our dreams die in Jira, ticket by ticket SCREAMING FOR RELEASE! SCREAMING FOR RELEASE! [Bridge] Stand-ups that last for eternity Retrospectives where nothing ever changes Sprints that feel like marathons through quicksand I've forgotten what it feels like to create something real (Something real...) [Breakdown] The manifesto hangs on the wall Framed like a memorial to what we've lost Values and principles, faded and torn While we check boxes until we're worn Down to the bone... Down to the bone... [Outro] In the shadow of dark agile, we forgot why we began Now we're just... processes without purpose Ceremonies without soul SCREAMING FOR RELEASE!