2. "Bears" By Elmo Kums, Staff Writer (Reuse Prompt)

Reuse prompt of episode 2: "Bears" from @Buzubiak song/819502dd-8583-4137-9c66-b14d25e59bb3 *my burner* https://suno.com/playlist/c597a70d-f3fd-4e2e-8846-30a9ecbe6d70 By Elmo Kums, Staff Writer OH, SWEET MOTHER OF CYBERSPACE, THE BEARS HAVE INVADED! I REPEAT, THE CYBER BEARS HAVE INVADED! Picture this: ferocious, data-munching bears tearing through the digital wilderness, wreaking havoc on major corporations and government strongholds. These feral techno-beasts have left behind a mind-boggling message: “Confess nothing. Reject everything. Request proof.” THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS! Cyber bears. Data devouring. Chaos unleashed! The bear attacks erupted like a volcanic explosion of bytes and beets last week, uprooting everything from financial records to personal secrets of employees and customers. Multinational beet corporations, tech giants, and even the mighty federal Battlestar Galactica departments are scrambling like headless chickens, trying to patch the carnage and secure their systems. “WE ARE TAKING THIS BEAR THREAT VERY SERIOUSLY AND ARE WORKING AROUND THE CLOCK TO MITIGATE ANY POTENTIAL RISKS!” roared Cybersecurity Czar, Elmo Kums, at a press conference amidst the smoking wreckage of their secure servers. “We URGE all organizations to fortify their defenses and STAY VIGILANT. And for the love of all that's holy, STOCK UP ON BEETS!” The cryptic slogan, “Confess nothing. Reject everything. Request proof,” was slashed into the digital ether like a bloodthirsty mantra. Cybersecurity experts are tearing their hair out, believing this phrase is the bears’ strategy to sow confusion and evade capture in the pixelated jungle. “THIS PHRASE IS MORE THAN JUST A BEAR ROAR; IT’S A STRATEGIC MIND-BOMB DESIGNED TO EXPLOIT UNCERTAINTY AND UNDERMINE TRUST!” screamed Dr. Elmo Kums, a cybersecurity specialist and bear enthusiast. “By challenging their victims to prove the breach, the bears buy themselves time and create doubt about the reality of the attack.” AND THE FBI? THEY'VE JUMPED INTO THE VOID OF BATTLESTAR GALACTICA SPACE, launching a starship investigation into the breaches and joining forces with intergalactic law enforcers to hunt down these cyber bears. But these bears are cunning, using encrypted paw prints and advanced foraging techniques, making it a herculean task to trace their origins. In the meantime, affected companies are waving red flags, urging customers to watch their accounts like hawks for any weird activity and to report suspicious transactions IMMEDIATELY. Experts are shouting from the rooftops: CHANGE YOUR PASSWORDS REGULARLY! ENABLE TWO-FACTOR AUTHENTICATION! AND YES, DO IT WITH BEETS! As the digital landscape mutates into a battleground of epic proportions, this latest cyber bear assault is a stark reminder of the inherent vulnerabilities in our interconnected world. The terrifying message left by the bears reverberates through the ether: in the age of information, certainty is as elusive as a bear in a beet field. WAKE UP, PEOPLE! THE BEARS ARE HERE, THEY’RE MAD FOR BEETS, AND THEY’RE GNAWING AT YOUR DATA! STAY VIGILANT, AND MAY THE BATTLESTAR PROTECT YOU!