Slop

(Verse 1) They said my toaster couldn’t run for mayor, But now it’s in the lead, debating a chair. I wear spaghetti like a three-piece suit, And I microwave rainbows just to reboot. (Pre-Chorus) I’m the architect of every sneeze, Invented Velcro for submarines. My life’s a jukebox that only plays whales, And I train houseplants to deliver emails. (Chorus) It’s my quantum kangaroo, I bounce how I please, Taking bubble baths in melted cheese. Critics call me a maverick, but jokes on them, I’m an omelet tycoon with a pet diadem. (Verse 2) They told me the moon’s just a hologram, But I ate it last week with a side of ham. I built a rocket out of jellybeans, And named it after my imaginary spleen. (Pre-Chorus) I’m the CEO of my own kazoo, Invented Wi-Fi for the kangaroo. My brain’s a blender with infinite speeds, Making smoothies from theories nobody needs. (Chorus) It’s my quantum kangaroo, I hop through space, Holding dance-offs at a snail’s own pace. Call me absurd, but I’ll never conform, I sell cloud insurance during lightning storms. (Bridge) Don’t try to decode my parfait of logic, I’m driving a tricycle fueled by hydraulic. Chaos is the compass that points me true, And my garden grows cucumbers shaped like shoes. (Chorus) It’s my quantum kangaroo, I don’t play fair, I just beat a chessboard with solitaire. I’m rewriting history with a ballpoint pen, Signing treaties between pigs and men. (Outro) I’m the sultan of shenanigans, prince of absurd, I trademarked the color of the word "blurb." This is my quantum kangaroo, don’t ask why, I just flipped gravity—now the ground’s the sky.