Ladies and Gentlemen

[Spoken Text] [live audience] [very faint circus music and sounds from a fun fare] [attention-grabbing voice, hypnotizing] [host welcomes the guests to a spooky variety show] Ladies and Gentlemen, esteemed guests of the evening, gather ‘round and prepare yourselves for a night unlike any other, a spectacle that will whisk you away to the very edges of imagination! I am Charon, your humble guide for this evening of creepy wonders and spooky delight. Let me embark with you on a journey through the shadows to the other side. [subtle inward laughing, knowing] *ha ha* The acts you are abot to witness, redefine the extraordinary. Tonight, we offer you a shy glimpse into the underworld, where shadows whisper secrets in the dark – but fear not, for we shall return to the light, where the sweetest puppies will melt even the coldest of hearts! But that’s just the beginning, my friends. What is a night without music and dance? Our stage will be graced with grand performances, where every word is a story and every note a heartbeat. And as you feast your eyes and ears, there will be healthy delights and sweet candy for your nourishment. We will hear stories from lands far away and times long forgotten, where history meets the exotic in a dance of enchantment. So, my dear audience, relax, enjoy, and let us carry you through this night of all nights. The stage is set, the players are ready, oh... don't forget... for just another dime you can go backstage... I promise: You will never ever forget that. But now... the moment we'vve all been waiting for. *drum roll climax to smash* Let - the - show - BEEEGINNNNN! Curtain up!