Certified Wimp!!

[Intro] Yo, yo, it’s ya boy MC SISSY in the house! Straight out the suburbs, reppin’ that cul-de-sac life! Ayy, y’all ain’t ready for this heat… [record scratch] ...uh, wait, Mom said dinner’s ready. BRB. [Verse 1] Yeah, I keep it real, I keep it trill, I keep it… mild, Sippin’ on my juice box, posted up like a child. Wanna be a baller, but I’m broke as a joke, Got a curfew at ten, so my street cred’s revoked. Walkin’ through the mall with my gangsta lean, But my mom holdin’ bags like a shopping machine. Tryna look cool, postin’ up all sly, But she yelled out loud, "DO YOU NEED TO GO POTTY, GUY?" Pulled up at the drive-thru actin’ real tough, Ordered off the dollar menu—man, that price too rough. Told ‘em "Supersize it!" like a straight-up boss, Then my debit card declined… man, I took a loss. [Chorus] I’m a G! (nah, you ain't!) Certified wimp! Sippin’ on tea, (pinky up when I sip!) My gangsta life’s lit—nah, actually it’s tame, Only fights I ever won (was on video games!) [Verse 2] I be rollin’ through the block on my tricked-out ride, Mom said no car, so my bike got pride. With my training wheels on, yeah, ridin’ real slow, Little bell on the handlebar [ding-ding]—let’s go! Yo, I wanna get tatted, be a real G in the street, But Mom said, "Not in my house! Here, take this temporary sheet." So now my arms flexin’ with a SpongeBob sleeve, Yeah, I still look tough—nah, no one believes. Tried to hit the club, but they shut me down, Said, "Boy, you ain't 21—take your [bleep] back to town!" So I hit up my homies, we kept it real tight, Played Monopoly ‘til 8:30 at night. [Chorus] I’m a G! (nah, you ain't!) Certified wimp! Sippin’ on tea, (pinky up when I sip!) My gangsta life’s lit—nah, actually it’s tame, Only fights I ever won (was on video games!) [Verse 3] Pulled up to McDonald’s, thinkin’ I’m the GOAT, Ordered a Happy Meal, got the toy for my coat. They said, "It’s for kids." I said, "Boy, don’t play!" Then I cried in my mom’s car… on the freeway. Stepped to a dude, thought I’d square up quick, He said, "Boy, please." I said, "Hold my lipstick!" Nah, wait—I mean ChapStick, uh, I meant my phone, Damn, he hit me once and I ran back home. [Bridge] Yeah, I keep that strap—nah, I mean my Velcro fanny pack! Got a mayo addiction, my fridge stocked fat! Ayy, step to me? Boy, don’t even try, I’ll challenge you to a tea party—Pinkies up high! [Verse 4] Tried to flex in the gym, but my arms too thin, Tried to bench the bar—bro, I caved right in. Told the trainer "Man, I got them hardcore genes!" He said "Go home, bro… and eat some beans." Tried to roast my homie, keep my diss game tight, But my mom heard me cuss—bro, I’m grounded tonight. No Netflix, no phone, no internet too! Man, this thug life just ain’t for me, dude. [Outro] Yo, shoutout to my crew—aka my mom and my cat! Y’all know where to find me… in bed by 9:30, suckas! Peace out, gotta go clean my room. OINK OINK BOY-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!