The Grinchmas Jab Jive*4

[Intro]:(Kazoo plays a playful, disjointed melody, accompanied by the sound of a single person laughing lightly, then escalating into a group of people laughing, setting a whimsical, comedic mood) Verse 1: I'm watching the news, my head's in a spin [Theremin sound effect for spinning],Thought I’d found wisdom, but nope, not with them.Family’s worried, sending texts like, “Get real!”(Slide whistle sound effect going down for "Get real!")They trust the news and the pros, I'm out there, just squeal.(Squeaky toy sound for "squeal") Chorus: I’m not a “Grinch,” just dodging the jab,(Kazoo plays the melody of "dodging the jab")Trying to keep my cool, but I've got a bit of lip.(Lip popping sound effect)“Trust the science,” they say, but oh what a hoot!(Owl hoot sound effect)Is that a vaccine or just a really bad fruit?(Biting into an apple sound) Verse 2: My uncle’s on Facebook, spreading absurd word,(Keyboard typing sound effect)With memes that could make even rocks feel disturbed.(Rock tumbling sound effect)Cousin invites me to a family retreat,(Bird chirping for "retreat")Talkin' 'bout being healthy but still got the jab;(Cymbal crash on "jab")That’s like cutting out sugar then eating a candy treat!(Candy wrapper rustling)They were already healthy, didn’t need the jab.(Vaccuum cleaner sound for "didn't need") Chorus: I’m not a “Grinch,” just dodging the jab,(Drum roll on "dodging the jab")Trying to keep my cool, but I’m losing my head.(Sound of a balloon deflating)“Trust the science,” they laugh, but oh what a laugh!(Canned laughter)Is that a jab mark or just a vampire bite?(Sucking sound for "vampire bite") Outro: So here's to my family, love wrapped in a bow,(Bow string sound for "wrapped in a bow")Despite all the chaos, it’s the best kind of show.(Applause sound effect)I’ll stop being the Grinch, I promise, I swear,(Crossing fingers sound)Just as soon as I buy my nicotine patch with flair!(Cash register sound effect for "buy") [Fade Out]