"Who Took My Damn Pen?" [Verse 1] It was right here, I know it was The same black pen I’ve had for months I don’t loan it out, I don’t leave it around So what the fuck? It’s just… gone now? [Chorus 1] Who took my damn pen? I’m not playing games Checked my desk, checked my bag, checked the trash, it’s insane There’s not a pen in this whole goddamn room Where are any of my writing utensils? I'll be pissed if I get screwed [Verse 2] I’ve got shit to write, deadlines to meet And now I’m out here searching like a lunatic freak The drawer’s empty, my jacket’s clear How the fuck does a pen just disappear? [Chorus 2] Who took my fucking pen? I’m ready to snap Tore apart the couch cushions, just found crumbs and some crap I’ve been searching so long, I can't just leave the office now If there's not a pen in my hand in 5 minutes some shits going down [Bridge] I’m side-eyeing everyone, they’re all looking suspect “I didn’t take it,” they say, yea just as I’d expect Nobody gives a shit, because their shit’s all still here If anyone laughs at me im gonna shoot them in their chair [Verse 3] It’s been hours now, retraced my steps? I attempted it I found a marker, but the tip’s all bent to shit Where’s the pen I had? My shit was straight jacked Turn your head for one second here, they’ll rob you blind as a bat [Chorus 3] Who has my cock-sucking pen? I’m losing my mind I’d burn this whole place down, but I can’t do any more time Not one person gave a FUCK!, and I’ve wasted my day I’ve fucked myself over in every possible way [Outro] YES! HERE’S ONE! On the floor behind the toilet in the fourth stall Nestled in dried piss and pubes, leaning against the wall I grabbed it, thinking, “Just get something done today before you get fired!” I go to write… “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? FUCK YOU! GODDAMN PEN!” [Continues where he left off with natural voice] SHIT ASS DICK LICKIN BALL SACK GAZING COCK GLAZING INKLESS PIECE OF LIZARD SHIT! [Boss]: "you're fired" "Ok"