[Calm corporate intro] "Welcome to-" [Dramatic orchestral interruption] Greetings, I am the perfect bio-android I'm afraid I'll be absorbing this presentation [Orchestral swell] And yes, I've been here the whole time Watching from behind that charming boulder [Ominous build] "Notice: Side effects include achieving my perfect form..." [Hushed with reverb] Your results may vary [Dark chuckle] But they really won't [Verse 1: Strong and commanding] Stalking through your quaint town's systematic breakdown Through eyes designed by brilliant genetics divine Soon you'll join my perfect form, refined- [Sudden dramatic pause] MOST exquisite! [Resume full power] Do enjoy this next part (The absorption's quite painless... for me) [Pre-Chorus: Tense with building strings] Your current location seems quite inadequate [Echo effect, higher pitch] (I'm already there) Your survival chances? Rather intermediate [Higher pitch] (Getting closer now) You're wondering if you should check behind That elderly oak? [Dramatic pause] Spoiler alert My tail's already there (Quite efficient, isn't it?) [Chorus: Triumphant with full orchestra] You're joining my design A process so sublime Your atoms meticulously aligned Resistance? Waste of time Before power divine You're part of my design! (P is for Perfect, naturally) [Bridge: Electronic pulse] BUFFERING... UPLOADING CONSCIOUSNESS TO PERFECT FORM... Oh, how tedious for you- [Bass drop] EXPEDITING YOUR TRANSCENDENCE (My spots do make this more fashionable) [Verse: Sharp with electronic beats] Your essence begins the final stage Thoroughly catalogued and perfectly caged Each moment approaches pure excellence Achieving optimal viewing metrics [Bass drop] Bandwidth requirement: Your entire existence (The wings aren't just for show) [Bridge: Pulsing beat with orchestra] Feel your form transcend (DNA sequence complete) As we comprehend (Cellular structure sweet) Perfection's path (Consciousness replete) Your perfect aftermath (Integration complete!) (Do try to run, it makes the chase entertaining) [Final Chorus: Maximum grandeur] You're perfect by design A part so sublime Your essence precisely aligned Your old self? Left behind In power divine You're perfect in my design! (Welcome to perfection incarnate) [Bridge: Fading orchestral backing] "Is this happening to me right now?" Current status: In progress, dear participant "This absorption experience is literally giving me life" How ironically accurate "Going viral hits different when you're being absorbed" Ah, a connoisseur of existential humor (And yes, this IS my perfect form) [Outro: Building to maximum] This absorption has been brought to you by... [Whispered] Perfectionâ„¢ Your consciousness has been successfully uploaded [Professional voice] For technical support, simply cease existing [Maximum power] INTEGRATION COMPLETE! [Soft elegant] Do remember to like and subscribe... [Whispered] While you still have free will Now, about that tournament...