[Verse] He doesn't push me out on game days Calls me son and I'm okay with that He's never been the type to outshine Never felt like he was takin' my dad's place [Verse 2] He'd rather chill with a cold one I guess I'm lucky that he goes for the mild ones The buy me a toy in the Mile High ones The word horsepin da drop-to-the-floor ones [Pre-Chorus] There's a tunnel of bad headlines and rad 'mare pairs though Statistically a stepdad should be a misunderstood villain engendered in folklore originally [Chorus] I can't lie My stepdad's actually cool He let me leave behind a chapter I ruled He was always calm My mom was the one of the troglodyte wives Demanded my life While she stood by his side [Post-Chorus] 'least I still have him after she died [Verse] We'll go on vacations in Vail He had the four-corner room on their final cruise He still wears her shade of teal On the week of my birth or their changing of names too [Pre-Chorus] There's a canon of crazy wives and family tales though My prolifically badaunt won't concede I could have a good mom [Chorus] And I can't lie My mom's end was Actually cruel An undiagnosed disease That had no cure She's always been a calm a paragon Of a connoisseur's life Determined to live right Cleaning after her [Post-Chorus] Death bed and not before And my stepdad's actually cool Despite the biases often coming from The blissfully nuclear fam who won't believe I can't lie My stepdad's actually cool If I could find a better title that Hasn't been used over five times I'd be happy to try But there's nothing as bad Nothing lads half as mad As Stepdad