Apocalypse? Now?

Breaking news! It’s the end of the line. No more rent to pay... Sounds pretty divine. Forget my inbox, it’s a smoking crater. End of the world? Couldn’t come later! All my student loans? Finally erased. My ex’s texts? Gone without a trace. The Wi-Fi’s out, but I'm feelin' chill. Guess the apocalypse paid all the bills! The sky’s on fire, but I’m doing fine! Goodbye deadlines, hello decline! It’s the end of the world, and I’m finally free. No alarms or meetings, just catastrophe. While everyone’s panicking, I’m sipping my tea. Apocalypse now? How convenient for me! No traffic jams, no grocery lines. Forget survival, it’s time to unwind. Finally canceled my therapy session. Turns out destruction cures depression. Bye-bye taxes Bye-bye laws No HOA fees No conference calls I’ll sure miss the pizza, but I’ll survive. There’s no more stress when you’re not alive! So bring on the missiles and the final attack I’ll raise a toast as it all fades to black! It’s the end of the world, and I’m doing alright. Reading a zen book, under the safety flare light While everyone’s screaming, I’m sipping my tea. Apocalypse now? How convenient for me! So long, suckers, I’ll see you in hell. I really can't believe this worked out so well!! It’s the end of the world, and I’m finally free. You know I never fit in well, it was probably me. While everyone’s crying, I’m sipping my tea. Apocalypse now? How convenient for me!