
Pilly and Me (The Bedtime Ballad)
[Verse 1] I woke up at noon with a grunt and a stretch, Rolled over again, ain’t gotten up yet. There's crisps in the bed and a dream in my head, Ain't left the duvet since Tuesday - I might be dead. [Verse 2] The mail piled up, the sink's full of soup, I been horizontal since I last took a poop. Got Netflix a-playing and my snacks nearby, If you need me, tough titties - coz' I won’t reply. [Chorus] Pilly and me, we’ve no grand plan, We don’t need work and we don’t need no man. She's cotton and comfort, she’s got that swish, Yeah my friend Pilly - she’s really that bish. I don’t need roads or big-city scenes, Just Pilly, a snack, and these faded ol’ jeans. [Verse 3] There’s dishes galore and a pong in the sink, I’ve been here so long, I've started to stink. There’s Tayto in my hoodie, socks on the floor, If nappin’ paid wages - I’d never be poor. [Verse 4] Oh Pilly, you floofball, subject of this poem, You smell like stale drool, but you still feel like home. You’ve soaked up my secrets and snack sauce alike, You're shaped kinda weird now, but that’s what I like. [Bridge] Had a date last week, but I gave it a miss, Pilly said, “Stay” - then gave me a kiss. She won’t ghost ya, never moans or gripes, Just cuddles my noodle through all of life’s shite. [Outro] So wrap me up in the duvet's embrace, Let the world jog on, I’m not part of that race. If someone asks why I’ve not been back: Just tell ‘em it’s duvet - I’m lost in her crack.

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