The Fruitcake That Wouldn't Die

[Verse 1] Aunt Betty’s been gone for a good ten years, But her fruitcake shows up every Christmas with cheer. It’s harder than rock, with a strange green glow, Still wrapped up real nice with a red velvet bow. [Verse 2] Nobody eats it, but it won’t disappear, We just pass it around from year to year. Last year it went to cousin Joe, Now he’s re-giftin' it to Uncle Mo! [Chorus] It’s the fruitcake that wouldn’t die, Passed around each Christmas night. We've all opened it one time or another -- from sister to sister and brother to brother It's the gift that keeps on giving, Even though Aunt Betty's no longer living. That red velvet bow's still intact Helping to bring Christmas memories back. [Verse 3] They say it’s got cherries, but I'm sure they're rocks, It weighs a ton, like a cement block. The nuts inside are now looking gummy, But this thing lasts as long as an Egyptian mummy. [Chorus] It’s the fruitcake that wouldn’t die, Passed around each Christmas night. We've all opened it one time or another -- from sister to sister and brother to brother It's the gift that keeps on giving, Even though Aunt Betty's no longer living. That red velvet bow's still intact, Helping to bring Christmas memories back. [Bridge] Forever part of our gift exchange, A favorite part of our Dirty Santa game. You'll never convince us to eat it, But as a gag gift, you just can't beat it. [Chorus] It’s the fruitcake that wouldn’t die, Passed around each Christmas night. We've all opened it one time or another -- from sister to sister and brother to brother It's the gift that keeps on giving, Even though Aunt Betty's no longer living. That red velvet bow's still intact, Helping to bring Christmas memories back. [Outro] So here’s to Aunt Betty, and her legacy sweet, With her fruitcake that time and decay can't beat. We’ll keep passin' it on as years go by -- It’s the fruitcake that wouldn’t die.