A Merry F*in’ Christmas from Dublin Town

[Intro: Wild Fiddle and Tin Whistle Chaos] Oh, the bells are ringin’, the Guinness is flowin’, The lads are fightin’, and the fists are throwin’! It’s a holly, jolly fuckin’ night, In Dublin Town, we’ll start a fight! [Verse 1:] Oh, Saint Nick came to the pub last night, Drunk as fuck and pickin’ a fight! He downed twelve shots, called the barman “shite,” And kissed yer ma under fairy lights. [Pre-Chorus:] The snow was fallin’, the carolers sang, But all I heard was bottles bang. “Silent Night”? No, not a chance— The whole damn pub was on its ass! [Chorus:] So here’s to a Merry Fuckin’ Christmas, lads, With whiskey, brawls, and Santa’s sack! We’ll drink, we’ll swear, we’ll fight and cheer, It’s the filthiest Christmas of the fuckin’ year! [Verse 2:] The tree caught fire when Paddy tripped, And the elf got smacked ‘cause he talked some shit. The turkey’s raw, but who gives a toss? We’re too pissed to care—it’s all for the craic, boss! [Pre-Chorus:] The reindeer ran, the sleigh got nicked, Rudolph’s red nose? Nah, he’s been decked! The bells keep ringin’, the cops roll in, But Christmas in Dublin’s pure fuckin’ sin. [Chorus:] So here’s to a Merry Fuckin’ Christmas, lads, With whiskey, brawls, and Santa’s sack! We’ll drink, we’ll swear, we’ll fight and cheer, It’s the filthiest Christmas of the fuckin’ year! [Bridge: Soft Whistle and Drunken Singalong] Oh, holy shite, the night is grim, The angel’s pukin’ on the Christmas hymn. The manger’s smashed, the donkey’s pissed, And Jesus is cryin’, “What the fuck is this?!” [Final Chorus:] So here’s to a Merry Fuckin’ Christmas, lads, With broken teeth and shattered glass! We’ll drink, we’ll swear, we’ll laugh, we’ll cry, It’s Christmas in Dublin, so kiss yer ass goodbye! [Outro: Rowdy Fiddle and a Barroom Chant] Merry Christmas, ya filthy shites, Now grab a pint, and fuckin’ fight!