No Discounts for Dead Men

(Verse 1 – Calm, Slightly Amused) I’ve seen kings rise, I’ve seen empires fall, Fought gods and demons, yeah, I’ve done it all. Held the fate of the world in these two hands, Now I run a shop—ain’t life so grand? (Pre-Chorus – Annoyed, Lecturing Young Adventurers) Then you walk in, fresh off the farm, Sword still shiny, eyes full of charm. "Give me a deal, I’m the chosen one!" Kid, you won’t last 'til the setting sun. (Chorus – Laughing at Their Fate) No discounts for dead men, no sales for fools, You won’t need that armor when you’re goblin food. Come back a legend, I’ll shake your hand, But I don’t take gold from a ghost in the sand. (Verse 2 – Sarcastic, Tired of Their Ego) They name-drop prophecies like I should care, Say they’ll slay the demon lord—like he ain’t there. I sell ‘em steel, I sell ‘em potions, Watch ‘em march out with dumb-ass notions. (Pre-Chorus – Same as Before, Maybe More Cynical) Next thing I hear, they’re six feet down, Looted clean by some goblin clowns. Should’ve bought a shield instead of that flair, Guess the "chosen one" ain’t so rare. (Chorus – Again, More Sarcastic Laughs) No discounts for dead men, no deals today, Your name ain’t worth a damn if you get slain. Come back a hero, I’ll cut the price, But ghosts don’t haggle, and that’s my advice. (Bridge – Reflective, Almost Sad) I was like you once, young and bold, Thought my name was worth more than gold. Now I just watch ‘em come and go, Another fool in another row... (Final Chorus – One Last Grumble Before the Next One Walks In) No discounts for dead men, no handouts here, If you ain't got skill, you best pack some fear. Go prove me wrong, go slay that beast, Or I’ll buy back your gear when you're deceased. (Outro – He Shakes His Head as the Next One Walks In) So, kid, you want a sword or just a chat? Yeah, yeah, "The prophecy says"—I’ve heard all that.