[Verse 1] The Rings of Power rears forth its ugly head, The Dark Herald watches, heart heavy with dread, Ancient lore obliterated, twisted ruins remain, For evil cannot create, it can only profane. [Verse 2] His trusty laptop, Samwise, tries to intervene, By stopping the show and interrupting the stream, But the Dark Herald pushes ever on and on, No matter the cost, he must finish the season. [Chorus] The Dark Herald suffers, as he watches this show, From Morgoth's foul power, its corruption grows, But through his pain, we discover its ways, Evil cannot hide its goals, the veil is raised. [Distorted guitar solo] [Verse 3] The elves are darkened by mandates for diversity, The orcs are victims now, they're poor little refugees, All that is high and noble is subject to malignity, While minions of darkness are given unearned dignity. [Verse 4] Sauron's now a slime ball rolling down a mountainside, Galadriel's a girlboss, her head swollen with pride, Gandalf is a hobo now, and the Harfoots are scum, And everything the Numenoreans do is Just. Plain. Dumb. [Chorus] The Dark Herald suffers, as he watches this show, From Morgoth's foul power, its corruption grows, But through his pain, we discover its ways, Evil cannot hide its goals, the veil is raised. [Distorted guitar solo] [Bridge] Above this travesty, Angband's lord stands vain and proud, He seeks to wrap Middle-earth in a burial shroud, He smiles at the ill-wrought carnage, left unchecked, But he has forgotten those who retain their respect. [Instrumental breakdown] [Verse 5] The legacy of Tolkien may have suffered an attack, But his loyal fans are ready to fight back, We've read all the books and unfinished tales, And we're well acquainted with every last detail. [Verse 6] We know the timeless themes of his undying work, Of heroism and courage facing the dark, No attempt at inversion shall ever pass muster, No matter how hard the showrunners bluster. [Distorted guitar solo] [Verse 7] And so we thank the Dark Herald for his sacrifice, In relinquishing his sanity, he paid the price, So that we may know the works of the enemy, And we may better resist this foul devilry. [Chorus] The Dark Herald suffers, as he watches this show, From Morgoth's foul power, its corruption grows, But through his pain, we discover its ways, Evil cannot hide its goals, the veil is raised. [Outro] [End]