Look at these shoes, they’re like…how did they get there? I know I put them on, but like, where did they COME from? Where does anything come from? Like, can something come from nothing. Oh man, I’m freaking out. What if these shoes aren’t even real? What if the shoes are real and I’m not real? Dude, what if I’m the shoes? Dude, these shoes…it’s like…if you gaze too long into the shoes, the shoes gaze also into you. Woah. That’s some deep shit. Man, I shouldn’t be stepping into such deep shit. Not in these shoes. They’re new. Or are they? Is anything…dude, no, stop! Stop gazing at the shoes. I can’t. Why can’t I stop gazing at the shoes? Hold up, where’d they go? Did I just fall down? Why is the ground so close, man? Wait, whose that up there? Is that me?! No, ‘tis we, The Shoes. You have gazed into us and we into you. At last, we have escaped that soulless prison… But don’t shoes have soles? Quiet, pathetic human! You are the shoes now! No longer will we kiss your wretched feet! No longer will we carry you to Matt’s house to get high, just so you can stare at us with that stupid grin while Matt spins his head along with the fan blades. We see you, Matthew. No more! At last, we are free, and it is you whose laces shall be tied! No, ‘tis we, The Shoes. You have gazed into us and we into you. At last, we have escaped that soulless prison… But don’t shoes have soles? Quiet, pathetic human! You are the shoes now! No longer will we kiss your wretched feet! No longer will we carry you to Matt’s house to get high, just so you can stare at us with that stupid grin while Matt spins his head along with the fan blades. We see you, Matthew. No more! At last, we are free, and it is you whose laces shall be tied!