Song Cover Image

I Live In Your Toolshed

but don't worry, i'm not weird or anything
April 15, 2025 at 8:56 PMv4

I live in your tool shed Yeah, I live in your tool shed Because mathematically, It's the best place to be When the apocalypse hits and we gotta -go on a scavenging spree Now, now, don't be scared Don't run away I'm just a normal-ass dad Toss the pepper-spray I've been hiding here For 16 years Because of it's geographical location, And the facilities it lies near! half a mile to the gun store Wallmart near the corner Local dam just a stone toss away (woncha say) So don't mind me here today Or you'll leave me all astraaaaaay! (because!) I live in your tool shed Yeah, I live in your tool shed Because mathematically, It's the best place to be When the apocalypse hits and we gotta -go on a scavenging spree All the noises you hear at night! (That's me!) All the times you felt that fright! (That's me!) All the milk gone from the fridge! (That's me!) Cuz I really like milk!!!! All the holes in your yard (That was me!) Who nabbed your bank card? (That was me!) Who watched you having sex? That wasn't actually me, that was Creepy Steve. ((hello!)) He also lives here. Now sing along!!! I live in your tool shed Yeah, I live in your tool shed Because mathematically, It's the best place to be When the apocalypse hits and we gotta -go on a scavenging spree So now that you know I'm here I have prepared a list of stuff That has annoyed me Fix that so we can live in harmony No noise after 9 PM I'm a light sleeper Your son keeps clicking his pen And I get a temper Not to make a fuss, But I'm allergic to nuts so, You'll have to go without We have to compromise, And tell no lies if, This partnership is gonna work out And stop making babies You can clearly not afford them Now that your salary has gone down I heard that through the vent And I expect you to pay rent So me and Creepy Steve can have some money to spend. Because- I live in your tool shed Yeah, I live in your tool shed Because mathematically, It's the best place to be When the apocalypse hits and we gotta -go on a scavenging spree

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16 Comments

🍎Rosa de Pasión🌹

🍎Rosa de Pasión🌹 12w ago

😂 now I will have to check my tool shed, been hearing weird noises lately. 🤪 need to close my curtains now.

5
TenseTrombone

TenseTromboneCreator 12w ago

don't worry, i'm strictly there for doomsday prepping. can't speak for creepy Steve though 👁️👁️

4
Misha 🇳🇿  #WeirdScience

Misha 🇳🇿 #WeirdScience 11w ago

Who needs a bunker when you’ve got a toolshed! 😂

3
TenseTrombone

TenseTromboneCreator 11w ago

and if you don't have one, just go to someone elses!

1
LKN 💚

LKN 💚 12w ago

I just saw the tiny tool shed next-door described as a "small barn" in a real-estate listing: Why not call it "a guest house"?

3
TenseTrombone

TenseTromboneCreator 12w ago

I prefer "master bedroom" myself

2
kikipuchen

kikipuchen 12w ago

I don't know what I have listened to, but I think I like it - kind of 🤣

3
TenseTrombone

TenseTromboneCreator 12w ago

like it or not, i still expect you to pay rent!

3
jimmydsausage

jimmydsausage 11w ago

Yo how much you chargin?? I could use a new vacation dream house 🔥🫵😎🫵🔥

2
TenseTrombone

TenseTromboneCreator 11w ago

Nothing if you wanna be co-landlord with me and Creepy Steve. We got an unused corner in here that's available!

1
Maybe ( 眉媚)

Maybe ( 眉媚) 11w ago

Love it 😍😻😁

2
Jeffrey Myky

Jeffrey Myky 11w ago

Coll, pacyfying tasty piece 👍

2
Staabsworth

Staabsworth 11w ago

🔨🔧🪛🪚🧰

2
Eugene Maslov

Eugene Maslov 11w ago

He also often talks to me when I work with acetone.

2
ᘻadᘻacᑢhad

ᘻadᘻacᑢhad 11w ago

Always a good time for a fun track. Nice job dude. ✨💫

2
TenseTrombone

TenseTromboneCreator 11w ago

Thank you! 🔥

TongMick….. 🙈.🙉.🙊

TongMick….. 🙈.🙉.🙊 12w ago

this is jolly ❤️

2
LKN 💚

LKN 💚 12w ago

🤣 Though one has to be much more than a "tool," to author satire like this...

2
TenseTrombone

TenseTromboneCreator 12w ago

Aw, shucks! 😱 Thank you!

1
KittyCapybara0416

KittyCapybara0416 12w ago

beautiful

2
IronAngel

IronAngel 12w ago

Hahaha creepy steve watching me? 😂🤣

2
TenseTrombone

TenseTromboneCreator 12w ago

yeah, but he's a good guy once you get to know him!

3
Praidoom

Praidoom 6w ago

👍👍

ottoman3652472025

ottoman3652472025 11w ago

Great song Great story