I Live In Your Toolshed

I live in your tool shed Yeah, I live in your tool shed Because mathematically, It's the best place to be When the apocalypse hits and we gotta -go on a scavenging spree Now, now, don't be scared Don't run away I'm just a normal-ass dad Toss the pepper-spray I've been hiding here For 16 years Because of it's geographical location, And the facilities it lies near! half a mile to the gun store Wallmart near the corner Local dam just a stone toss away (woncha say) So don't mind me here today Or you'll leave me all astraaaaaay! (because!) I live in your tool shed Yeah, I live in your tool shed Because mathematically, It's the best place to be When the apocalypse hits and we gotta -go on a scavenging spree All the noises you hear at night! (That's me!) All the times you felt that fright! (That's me!) All the milk gone from the fridge! (That's me!) Cuz I really like milk!!!! All the holes in your yard (That was me!) Who nabbed your bank card? (That was me!) Who watched you having sex? That wasn't actually me, that was Creepy Steve. ((hello!)) He also lives here. Now sing along!!! I live in your tool shed Yeah, I live in your tool shed Because mathematically, It's the best place to be When the apocalypse hits and we gotta -go on a scavenging spree So now that you know I'm here I have prepared a list of stuff That has annoyed me Fix that so we can live in harmony No noise after 9 PM I'm a light sleeper Your son keeps clicking his pen And I get a temper Not to make a fuss, But I'm allergic to nuts so, You'll have to go without We have to compromise, And tell no lies if, This partnership is gonna work out And stop making babies You can clearly not afford them Now that your salary has gone down I heard that through the vent And I expect you to pay rent So me and Creepy Steve can have some money to spend. Because- I live in your tool shed Yeah, I live in your tool shed Because mathematically, It's the best place to be When the apocalypse hits and we gotta -go on a scavenging spree