The Ballad of the Outlaw Billy Stubbs (Live)

[crowd: roaring] [spoken] This here's about an outlaw who has his own version of a Monopoly get outta jail free card. [crowd: roaring] It's called the Ballad of the Outlaw Billy Stubbs. [crowd: roaring] [verse] The outlaw Billy Stubbs just shot the Reverend Willie Danes. But he'll just walk away again scott free. Old Billy likes to rob some banks and hijack lots of trains. But never spent a day in lock and key. The whole town lives in fear of when old Billy saunters through. He'll hold you up on Main Street right at noon. The lawmen shrug and say that they just don't know what to do. 'Cause from the law old Billy's just immune. [crowd: cheering] [chorus] [crowd singing] The law can't put old Billy Stubbs in jail. The prosecutors say they just can't win. Old Billy knows just why they always fail. He's joined to Ned, his lifelong Siamese twin. [crowd: laughing] The doctors just can't separate the two. The judge says Ned ain't done a single crime. He says there just ain't nothin' he can do. So Billy won't be doin' any time. [verse] Poor Reverend Danes was helping an old lady cross the street. While headed to the church house for to pray. He tipped his hat to Billy when they had by chance to meet. And said God bless you, son, on this fine day. Old Billy looked at Danes and in a voice that's slightly slurred, "It's your last day on Earth" is what he said. He shot the reverend down without another single word. While standing at his side was his twin Ned. [crowd: roaring] [chorus] [crowd singing] The law can't put old Billy Stubbs in jail. The prosecutors say they just can't win. Old Billy knows just why they always fail. He's joined to Ned, his lifelong Siamese twin. The doctors just can't separate the two. The judge says Ned ain't done a single crime. He says there just ain't nothin' he can do. So Billy won't be doin' any time. [verse] Well Billy thought he had it figured out and couldn't lose. But then his phone rang with an urgent call. He'd won an all-expense paid trip to Maui for a cruise. Redeemable from now until next fall. Old Billy jumped and shouted for this gift that can't be beat. But the joke turned out to be on him instead. The airplane ticket for the trip was for a single seat. He couldn't go 'cause he was joined to Ned. [chorus] [crowd singing] The law can't put old Billy Stubbs in jail. No matter all the folks he kills and hurts. And though the prosecutions all will fail. Old Billy's finally got his just desserts. He can't escape his brother or his fate. No paradise or freedom's in the cards. And though he ain't imprisoned by the state. His own misdeeds became his prison guards. [crowd: roaring] [spoken] Thank you! Good night! [Crowd: roaring] [fade] [end] [verse] Well Billy thought he had it figured out and couldn't lose. But then his phone rang with an urgent call. He'd won an all-expense paid trip to Maui for a cruise. Redeemable from now until next fall. Old Billy jumped and shouted for this gift that can't be beat. But the joke turned out to be on him instead. The airplane ticket for the trip was for a single seat. He couldn't go 'cause he was joined to Ned. [chorus] [crowd singing] The law can't put old Billy Stubbs in jail. No matter all the folks he kills and hurts. And though the prosecutions all will fail. Old Billy's finally got his just desserts. He can't escape his brother or his fate. No paradise or freedom's in the cards. And though he ain't imprisoned by the state. His own misdeeds became his prison guards. [crowd: roaring] [spoken] Thank you! Good night! [Crowd: roaring] [fade] [end]