7 POPPED COLLARS

*(Instrumental Intro)* ... Uh ... *Verse 1:* Uh-huh Took a long look in the mirror this morning, Said, “Why stop at two?”—consider that a warning. Dug through the laundry, found my lucky stack, Seven polos deep, baby, I ain’t lookin’ back. I don’t need a reason, I'm the sevenfold man. I just need a stiff chest and couple extra hands. Walkin’ like my torso’s stuck in a vice, I don't pop ‘em for comfort… I pop ‘em to look nice. *Chorus:* **Seven popped collars, I'm a fashion typhoon,** **Blocking out the sun like a double full moon.** **You only get one life, one shirt won't suffice,** **Seven popped collars, caught ya lookin' twice!** ... *(Instrumental Break)* ... Uh ... *Verse 2:* Uh-huh My closet's confused but I ain't gonna sort it, Put a vest on top just so I could sport it. Got a fanny pack stuffed with emergency gum, And a playlist that slaps... the soundtrack to Shrek 1. I once got lost in my own reflection, Thought it was a twin—said "We go One Direction." People ask, “Aren’t you hot?” I say, Nah, I’m chill.” Got my arms pumpin' mad, like a busy windmill *Chorus:* **Seven popped collars, I’m a hurricane of threads,** **Blocking doorways and bumpin’ heads.** **I don’t sweat style, it sweats me instead—** **Seven popped collars 'til the day I'm dead.** ... *(Instrumental Break)* ... yuh ... *(Spoken Word Breakdown (Bridge):)* *(light echo on the voice, serious tone, spoken word)* You know… People always ask me, "Why?" "Why seven?" "Why not… just one?" And I tell ‘em the truth: Because greatness isn’t measured in fabric. It’s measured in swag. Aerodynamic resistance. Collar lift. Emotional torque. I wasn’t born with this confidence. I bought it, in bulk, at an outlet mall in Des Moines. And if you think this is a joke, you try eating spaghetti in seven popped collars. I lost three shirts that day. But I gained a legacy. *(Synths punch back in hard, full energy returns)* *Final Chorus (Slightly Slower, Dramatic):* **Seven popped collars, the worlds will never be the same,** **The shirts wear me now, and they know my name.** **You can dress for success, I dress for the breeze—** **Seven popped collars, don't sweat the sleeves.** *(Fade out ending)*