If you come, see us on tour Raise your hands up! (Praise the lord!) Make you feel like you're reborn You'll hang on our every word! But it's all just fantasy Yeah, There's a secret about me and the members of our crew We are not as naive as you We! Are! A! Midwest, Christian, Punk-pop, Emo, Band! And we're singing to you, coz "god" said we can We are a Midwest, Christian, Punk-pop, Emo, Ba-a-and! And though we never go to church, we still want you to buy our merch! Your youth group leaders love us, They think that we have faith, They bring you to our show, to see, punk rock that is safe. Singing songs of angels... like Michael W. Smith, Then we go backstage, and find Someone, to smoke weed with. We! Are! A! Midwest, Christian, Punk-pop, Emo, Band! And we're playing for you, coz "jesus" said we can We are a Midwest, Christian, Punk-pop, Emo, Ba-a-and! And though we never go to church, we still want you to buy our merch! Our music is powerful and influential, You'll feel it deep inside, We get the hottest virgin groupies, every single night! Empty words and promises... A soundcheck for the soul... And just like your religion... Making money is our goal. We! Are! A! Midwest, Christian, Punk-pop, Emo, Band! And you love us, coz it's Satan's command! We are a Midwest, Christian, Punk-pop, Emo, Ba-a-and! And though we'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever go to church... We still want you to buy our merch! (Praise the lord!)