[Verse 1] Deck the halls with bottles and cans, Pourin’ whiskey like it’s part of the plan. The tree’s half-leanin’, the lights are a joke, But we’re drunk as hell and we ain’t got no hope! [Chorus] Deck the halls with beer and regret, This Christmas is one we’ll never forget. We’ve drunk our weight in tequila shots, Now we’re makin' out in the parking lot! [Verse 2] Grandma’s passed out, we’ve lost the dog, Somebody’s car is stuck in the fog. The snow’s fallin’ down, but we’re burnin' hot, We’re gettin' way too cozy in the neighbor’s front yard lot! [Chorus] Deck the halls with beer and regret, We’re makin’ bad choices, don’t you forget. Chug a brew, take a hit, don’t stop, We’re all so drunk, we forgot the top! [Bridge] The Christmas ham’s burnt, the cookies are trash, We’re fightin’ over who’s got the last splash. Mistletoe’s hangin’, but I’m kissin’ the wall, This holiday’s gone straight to hell, y’all! [Chorus] Deck the halls with beer and regret, Forget about Jesus, forget about the set. Who needs gifts when we’ve got this mess? I’ve pissed in the snow, now I need to confess! [Outro] So if you see me passed out on the lawn, Don’t call the cops, just pass me the bong. We’ve decked the halls with beer and regret, Merry f**king Christmas—you ain’t seen nothin' yet!