
Epic Rap Battles of D&D The Deck of Many Things vs. The Bag of Holding v3
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF Dungeons and DRAGOOOOONS! THE DECK OF MANY THINGS! VS! THE BAG OF HOLDING! BEGIN! (DECK OF MANY THINGS - voice 1) Step up, Bag, I’m the gamble supreme, One pull from my deck and I shatter your dreams! Fortune and power? Yeah, I deal that thrill, You? A glorified pouch just holding the bill! I raise up kings, I send fools to their graves, Heroes bow down, destinies reshaped! You store the gear? That’s cute, real fun, But let’s be real—you’re just fantasy Tupperware, son! (BAG OF HOLDING - voice 2) Oh, you deal in fate? Well, I deal in fact! Your biggest fan is a TPK-packed trap! I hold the loot, the gear, the might, While you just make DMs rewrite the night! You wanna talk power? Boy, get real, I can smuggle an army in a pocket dimension of steel! You might shuffle fate, but that’s all you bring, I hold the weight of legends—BOW TO THE KING! (DECK OF MANY THINGS - voice 1) A king? Please, you’re a bag with a zipper! Your biggest flex is being a bigger slipper! I make warriors rise, I make wizards weep, You just sit there carrying snacks like a creep! The moment I’m drawn, the table ignites, I fuel stories—you just hold rations and tights! You store the loot? I AM the prize! One pull, Bag—and you’re banished to the skies! (BAG OF HOLDING - voice 2) Banished? Nah, I’m always in hand, While you? Just a gimmick few understand! You leave parties ruined, campaigns wrecked, I keep them ready, I keep them checked! When it’s crunch time, who do they trust? You throw ‘em to demons, I carry the clutch! You're chaos, you're risk, you’re a one-trick flop, I’m utility, power—the Bag’s on top! (DECK OF MANY THINGS - voice 1) You think they trust you? That’s adorable, champ, But let’s see how you fare when I pull the Flames card—ZAP! I bring drama, I bring fame, You bring mules, packs, and more of the same! I make gods, I make doom, I make stories explode, You just help hoarders lighten their load! You can store the world, Bag, but listen real close— At the end of the game, it’s MY draw that they boast! (BAG OF HOLDING - voice 2) You boast? Yeah, they talk—but never in praise, They fear you, Deck, like a storm of bad days! Meanwhile, I’m trusted, held in the hand, From peasant to king, I SERVE the land! You wreck games, I make them thrive, I hold their dreams, you throw ‘em aside! You're a gimmick, a joke, a wager gone wrong, I’m the GOAT of adventuring—so pack it up, you’re DONE! WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF Dungeons and Dragons!
1 Comment
🦊 Fenris the cute fluffy wolf 🐺 16w ago
Bag of holdings for sure, also very creative