Diarrhea Diary

[Spoken Intro] I just pooped my pants, Maybe I should stick to plants! Good thing I keep a diary. Dear Diarrhea Diary... [Song Verse 1] Started my morning with milk cookies, Thought it’d be fine, but now my pants have dookies. Belly’s a’gurgling, it’s giving me grief, Why’d I put jalapeños in my roast beef? [Chorus] Diarrhea Diary, jot it all down, Every meal, every snack, every trip to town. Oh, Diarrhea Diary, it’s my trusty guide, Tracking every splatter ‘til my guts subside. [Verse 2] Had some sushi on a daring spree, But raw fish and I, we just don’t agree. Now I’m scribbling fast, my journal’s a mess, "Never eat gas station tacos," it says. [Chorus] Diarrhea Diary, it’s the tale of my life, Each chapter’s explosive, like a food fight. Oh, Diarrhea Diary, it’s my claim to fame, Laughing at the madness while my butt erupts flame. [Bridge] I color-code the moments, from mild to insane, Brown for disaster, red for hot pain. Lessons learned, oh so hard and so clear, Avoid the buffet, and always steer clear. [Chorus - Reprise] Diarrhea Diary, it’s a gastronomic quest, For a belly of peace and a gut that can digest. Oh, Diarrhea Diary, with each turn of the page, I’m living and laughing through this poop-filled stage. [Outro] Diarrhea Diary, my toilet-bound friend, We’ll stick together till the very end. With each scribbled moment, I learn and I grow, But please, oh please, let it stop tomorrow!